Moving towards...
In less than two weeks we’ll close the front door of a house we’ve lived in for twenty four years. Twenty four years! We moved in to this house expecting to renovate it and move on after a few years!
People keep asking me if I’m emotional and feeling sad about leaving. Honestly? No, not one bit!
Of course I have memories, very happy memories, and they won’t disappear when we live somewhere else, but I’m not sad.
Instead, I feel a real buzz, excitement, curiosity, and possibility.
I shared my thoughts around decision making in a previous article back in May and it’s very relevant to our situation right now… our decision to relocate is not because we want to leave where we are, it’s because we know where we want to be, and I think that’s quite different.
So many decisions are made to get away from something:
Away from stress
Away from a difficult boss
Away from a relationship that no longer works
Away from exhaustion
There’s nothing wrong with that, and sometimes moving away is exactly what’s needed.
However, there’s something deeply energising about moving towards:
A life that feels more like your own
Values that have been needing attention
The person you’re still becoming
An environment that supports a healthier way of life
That’s exactly what this move represents.
My coaching work helps people make conscious choices rather than drifting into them, and one of the questions I often ask clients is “Is this day one or one day?”
We’ve all got those “one day” dreams:
One day I’ll change careers
One day I’ll move
One day I’ll write the book
One day I’ll put my health first
One day, without a plan, usually never comes.
My business is changing too… my coaching philosophy hasn’t changed, but my surroundings have.
For the past three years I’ve coached online, in London, and through my retreat days, but soon I’ll be coaching while walking across the South Downs, along the coast, over Beachy Head, and possibly even along the prom!
My work stays the same but the setting becomes part of the experience.
I’ve always believed our surroundings influence how we think and how comfortable we are. Sometimes a conversation becomes much easier when you’re looking at an open horizon instead of four walls, and we know how a side by side chat can flow more freely than direct eye contact.
It feels completely natural to allow my business to grow into its new environment.
While I was making notes for this article and the upcoming changes, there’s another shift in my thinking that I noticed, my identity.
For a long time it was easy for my identity to become wrapped up entirely in my work.
I love what I do and care deeply about my work
I used to work crazy hours (I know now they weren’t always necessary…)
My friends and family would probably describe me as ambitious
My work is still hugely important to me, but I’ve become increasingly aware that my business is simply something I do, it isn’t all that I am…
The goals are changing, and the definition of success feels broader now.
Success isn’t just the bottom line (although still important!), it now includes time outdoors, health, adventure, relationships, and space to think.
Those things aren’t distractions from work, they’re all part of building a life that feels whole, and feels like me.
When I look at my three core values, growth, health and freedom, I realise this move isn't simply about changing where we live, it's about creating a life where those values have a very good chance of showing up every day.
You know me well enough to know I’m always honest with you, so I’ll happily share with you that this doesn’t mean everything is perfect. Far from it in fact…
My husband still has important work projects to complete, so, for the foreseeable future, we’ll be living apart during the week. This is sad, but it’s not something we can change for a while yet.
Even when we make values-based decisions, there may still be a compromise.
Every decision we take opens one door and closes another, every chapter asks something different of us, and this one is asking us to be creative to make it work:
It asks us to plan the odd midweek train journey
It asks us to protect our limited time together
It asks us to trust a relationship that has already proved it can weather situations like this before
Sometimes we can have almost everything we want, but very rarely do we get absolutely everything all at once.
And finally…
Before we’ve even moved, people are asking me, “will this be your forever home?”
How could I possibly know? Maybe, maybe not!
I never want to stop noticing opportunities and, as far as we know, we get one life, and we’re never finished complete, we’re all simply a work in progress.
Maybe that’s why I don’t feel sad about leaving? Because this doesn’t feel like the end of something, it’s another beginning…
A little DistrAction® for you
Take two minutes today and ask yourself one question:
“What am I moving towards?”
Not what you’re trying to escape or avoid, but what are you actively choosing because it brings you closer to the life you want?
The answers might tell you more about your next chapter than you expect…
If you don’t know about DistrActions®, they’re 2 minute activities I have designed to support habit changing and/or lure you away from your screens for a few minutes. I post them on here for free every weekday morning at 8am.
If you think our change is terrifying, or you’d generally like to manage change better, I do 1-1 work on this topic, or you can grab a workbook and work through it at your own pace.